How to Connect with Your Grandkids While Long-Distance Grandparenting

Being a long-distance grandparent comes with conflicting emotions. Joy and pride about the delightful and loving new humans who have come into your life. And, at the same time, grief and disappointment about not being present for so many moments of their childhoods.

First, it’s important to acknowledge that these feelings are natural and normal. It’s okay to let yourself feel the highs and the lows of long-distance grandparenting. It’s much like experiencing an empty nest all over again.

But after you feel all the feels, it’s important to switch focus from mourning what you’re missing to building meaningful relationships across the miles.

In our age of hyper-connectivity, you may find it easier than you thought to be present for so many big memories and little moments in your grandchildren’s lives. Establishing simple routines of connection — and consistently making the time for them — is truly how to build strong relationships with grandchildren long distance.

Here’s a list of ideas to keep you connected and build a relationship with your grandkids.

1. Become Pen Pals 

An easy and effective way to keep in touch with your grandchildren is to start a regular correspondence through the mail. For older grandchildren, you might graduate to email, text or voice messages. To extend the excitement and novelty of mailed communication, try a combination of these ideas:

Send handwritten notes, hand-drawn pictures or care packages 

Ask your grandkids about their activities and share stories from your own childhood. They’ll get a little personalized “visit” from you each time they see your written, drawn or home-baked correspondence.

Deliver “open when” letters

Send a little something to your special little ones prior to birthdays, holidays, recitals, sports matches or milestone events. It can be a customized “certificate of accomplishment,” a promise of a future experience to share together or simply some encouraging words. Your grandchildren will feel your presence during the big moments in their lives and look forward to your next visit to celebrate together in person.

Save correspondence in a scrapbook

Whether it’s a handmade card or a funny texted meme, make a point to print and save the “best of the best” messages that your grandchildren send you. Collect them in a small album, along with a few handwritten additions of your own, and gift it to them when they’re of an appreciative age. In this digital world, they’ll love having lasting copies of your shared memories.

Send magazine gifts for monthly reminders of you

Kids magazines are classic, timeless ways to let children dig into topics they love, learn essential life and school skills, and get a special reminder of you with each delivery.  The best part is hearing from them about ALL the cool things they read and do!

2. Make Virtual Visits 

As evidenced by the multitude of remote jobs in today’s world, it is possible to build meaningful relationships via video chat. So be extravagant in how you use it with your grandkids. There are so many long-distance grandparenting ideas that let you do things “together” even from afar:

Read together or hold a book club

Send your little ones copies of your favorite children’s books and also buy copies for yourself. Set up a regular time for video chats when you read and talk about the books together. No peeking! These special stories can be saved strictly for your virtual time together. For older grandkids, ask them about their favorite chapter books or series so you can read them, too. Then set up a night of snacks and virtual discussion!

Make a fun or family recipe

Choose a family favorite or find a brand-new recipe to try. Gather all the ingredients and agree on a time when you can cook “together.” Although you’ll physically be in different places, your shared experience will make you feel as close as ever.

Do an art project together

Buy two identical art projects, such as activity/coloring books, crochet kits or model cars. Keep one for yourself and mail one to your special kids. Set up a time for you both to explore your artistic sides and complete your works over video chat. During your next visit, swap your finished projects for a lasting memory of your time spent together.

Let them teach you something they’re passionate about

Not every virtual visit requires a physical component. Kids are so passionate about the things that interest them. Why not let them give you a master class on their current obsessions? You’ll collect ideas for future activities to experience with your grandkids and get a peek into their budding personalities and independent mindsets.

3. Spend (Responsible) Time Online Together

While you surely want to limit the time and capacity in which your grandchildren spend time on screens, there are responsible, effective ways for you to connect with them online. Align with your adult children on which ways they’re comfortable with you connecting with your grands:

Play online games in real time or delayed time

You’ll find several safe, secure online- and console-based activities appropriate for kids of all ages. Some you can play at the same time; others are turn based, so you can play whenever the moment is right for you. Word play, building adventures, and even online versions of board and card games make for simple ways to connect without a lot of prep.

Watch a movie together

It’s easy to host an online watch party with your little ones! Just dim the lights, dial each other on speaker phone and hit the “play” button at the same time. If you want to go all out, host a virtual party with an online tool that syncs streaming movies on multiple devices.

Send video messages

If you live in different time zones and find it difficult to be online at the same time, you can still get eyes on your grandbabies using video messages. Then they can respond with a new message, giving you a real-life view of what’s happening day to day.

Use a shared online photo album or digital frame

It’s easy and often free to create shared online photo albums. And digital frames are easier to use than ever. All it takes are a couple of clicks or a simple email, and your grandchildren’s important activities appear right at your fingertips!

4. Make In-Person Time Count

Although it might not feel like it, it’s the quality of the time you spend with your long-distance family — not the quantity — that truly establishes close connections. So when you do see your grandchildren in person, make that time as exceptional as possible:

Host “grandparent camp”

 When the littles are on holiday from school, set aside a few days or a week for “grandparent camp.” Host your grandkids at your home for adventures, sleepovers and new traditions. Or, if your schedule and finances allow, take your grandchildren on a grand out-of-town adventure!

Choose experiences over material gifts

While it’s tempting to submit to grandkids’ every whim, resist the urge to indulge in all their material desires. While some special gifts and souvenirs are reasonable, putting more focus on doing things together during in-person visits will build a stronger foundation for your relationship. And those love- and fun-filled memories will last way longer than physical keepsakes.

Spend time one on one

If possible, schedule personalized one-on-one activities with each of your grandchildren when you visit them. It can be hard for parents and caregivers to designate alone time with each sibling, so kids will relish the chance to be individually spoiled by their grandparents. Whether you go out for an activity or simply have some playtime at home, each grandchild will love doing their favorite things with some of their most favorite people – you!

When it comes to connecting with your grandchildren, you don’t need to live in the same town to be a meaningful part of their lives. Thoughtful and consistent long-distance grandparenting ideas can help you build strong relationships even from afar.

After all, it’s not your location, but your attention to and participation in your grandkids’ feelings, interests and dreams that will connect you across the miles — and the many years of growth to come.