Ask a Teacher: How to Boost Parent-Teacher Communication

From homework to open houses and everything in between, keeping up with your child’s school year can often feel like a full-time job. 

While it may seem like you can’t possibly add one more thing to your already busy parenting plate, staying involved in this aspect of your child’s life is worth the time. Studies have shown that parental engagement in schooling can help boost academic performance and social development in kids.

Anjanette Keck, a student intervention coordinator and 30-year elementary and middle school teacher in Columbus, Ohio, helps us understand the best ways to communicate effectively with your child’s teachers. 

Why is parent involvement in education so important?

When parents work together with teachers, the benefits to both of them — and, more importantly, to students — grow exponentially. 

“If we’re all rowing in the same direction, we get the boat further.” – Anjanette Keck

Student benefits:

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, parental engagement brings direct benefits to students, including: 

• Better student behavior. Informed parents and teachers can support healthy attitudes, behaviors and environments. “Looking at a child’s specific background helps us meet their educational and social emotional needs,” Keck says.
• Higher academic achievement. Parents’ school involvement and communication with teachers shows children that they’re important and that education matters, Keck adds.
• Enhanced social skills. In the classroom, kids are learning how to communicate effectively with each other. A strong connection between parent and teacher can model healthy interpersonal skills.

Teacher benefits: 

Open communication is essential for teachers to understand and most effectively help their students. 

• Ability to accomplish more together. When parents are involved in education, the child’s learning increases and the school the child attends is better. “It’s the idea of everyone being on the same page,” Keck says. “If we’re all rowing in the same direction, we get the boat further.” 
• Individualized educational experiences. Working closely with parents of students also helps teachers by giving them background knowledge they wouldn’t otherwise have. “A huge part of my job is to be an advocate for kids, so I need to know concerns and goals,” Keck says.
• Stronger social and emotional support for kids. “Students can be better supported if we’re informed about a family crisis or something else going on that might make things challenging or triggering,” Keck says. “Then teachers have context. Instead of getting into a behavior plan with a child, we might know they just need a chat or some quiet time or to call mom.”

For example, when Keck’s family dog passed away, she sent emails to her son’s teachers, letting them know he had a rough morning. “I wasn’t over-asking for attention for my son,” she says, “but just giving teachers a heads up to keep an eye on him.”

Family benefits:

When families partner with schools in their child’s education, it leads to a more fulfilling and effective experience for all.

• Guidance for supporting students. When families understand academic and developmental goals, they can better assist their child outside the classroom. A reflection worksheet can help communicate observations, concerns and areas of accomplishment to teachers.
• Increased trust and appreciation. Learning about classroom curriculum and experiences can help families feel more confident about their child’s education. This positive point of view can improve teacher morale and student motivation. It can also help families feel comfortable seeking additional support from school social workers and counselors.
• Sense of community at school and beyond. Families who are engaged in classrooms can partner with teachers to include celebrations and activities that represent all students, helping everyone feel valued and included. 

How can I build strong parent teacher communication?

Individual teachers usually set expectations about how families should communicate with them, whether via email, app (like ClassDojo) or another method. Regardless of channel, Keck recommends these tips for effectively communicating with educators about your child:

• Approach topics or concerns with clarity and positivity. 
• Share anything you need to share, but do so concisely and in the context of how it relates to supporting your child. 
• Understand that teachers care about your child, but they also have a demanding workload (both during and after school hours) and personal/family obligations of their own.
• Respect work/life boundaries and recognize that you may not get a reply from teachers during evenings or weekends. Allow 24-48 work hours for responses.
• Don’t expect to reach teachers (via phone, email or in person) during class time.

Even if you have a general question about class or school, Keck encourages reaching out.

“I don’t always know what parents don’t know,” she says. “If you ask a question, you might be helping lots of people who have the same concern. It’s better to ask questions than to be confused and feel disconnected.”

How can I handle difficult conversations with my child’s teacher?

While parents and teachers have the same goal of advocating for children, inevitably there will be miscommunications or differences of opinion. Keck recommends a few strategies to prepare for potentially difficult conversations:

• Assume positive intent from all parties.
• Go to your child’s classroom teacher first to discuss concerns or challenges.
• If the concern originated with your child, talk to all adults involved (teachers, other parents, school staff) before jumping to conclusions. “Kids can misinterpret things because they’re developmentally not remembering correctly,” Keck says. “Or sometimes they don’t want to disappoint their parents.”
• Temper your responses, realizing that overprotectiveness can easily kick in.
• Set up an individual conference to talk about concerns. Contacting your child’s teacher in advance allows them to prepare for your conversation and devote their attention fully to you.  “A school-wide event isn’t the time to have conversations,” Keck says. “We don’t talk about students within earshot of others.” 

If your attempts to communicate with your child’s classroom teacher are unsuccessful, then it’s time to escalate to school administration.

How can I show my gratitude to my child’s educators?

There are so many wonderful ways to show your child’s educators that you’re thankful for what they do, and none of them are wrong. But sometimes the best thing you can do is (you guessed it) simply communicate.

• Send an email. “I love the unexpected positive note saying, ‘I’m just letting you know you’re appreciated,’” Keck says. “Sometimes it’s otherwise impossible to know if you’ve made an impact; a child’s success means more than just test scores.”
• Have your child write a note. Keck also encourages parents to have their children write encouraging letters to educators. “I know some teachers who keep all their notes and read them when they’re having a rough day,” she says.
• Volunteer in whatever way you can. If time permits, it’s always helpful for parents to assist in the classroom, attend after-school events or join a PTA committee. If you’re not able to participate on-site, perhaps you can help virtually by organizing supply drives or volunteer sign ups. 

Parent involvement in education can be as simple as finding ways to support your child’s learning from home, such as by encouraging a positive attitude about learning or creating a quiet study place.

While there are so many ways to engage in your child’s education, don’t stress about trying to make them all happen, all the time. Parent involvement in education can be as simple as encouraging a positive attitude about learning or creating a quiet study place at home. 

In fact, Keck says, “sending me a rested, healthy kid who’s ready to learn is the best thing you can do.”