What’s the Funniest Thing You’ve Heard a Child Say?

One of the most memorable parts of raising a child is recounting all the hilarious things they say when they’re little. Whether it’s pronouncing “blueberry” as “boodiddy,” or giving you advice on how to do your job, kids come up with some pretty funny stuff.

Highlights asked parents to tell us some of the funniest things they’ve ever heard from a kid. Here’s what they shared

Funny Things Kids Say About Food

“I put broccoli on my great-niece’s plate. She said, ‘I don't eat trees.’” - ElNora D.

“When my oldest was 4, he informed me that the meals of the day were breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, dinner, snack, and dessert.” - Alice K.

“When my daughter was around 2, she called ketchup ‘chickup.’ When anyone was squeezing a ketchup bottle and it made a rude noise, she would look surprised and say, ‘Pardon you, chickup!’ We still say it. She's 19.” - Yoli L.

“When my guy was a toddler, he called a cheeseburger a ‘hangerbanger.’ I almost cried the first time he called it a ‘cheeseburger.’ I still call the remote control a ‘chokamote.’ Ahhhh, to have those days back! Without the diaper changing!” - Daniel B.

Funny Things Kids Say About Pets and Creatures

“Once I was watching a child’s movie with my two 6-year-old grandkids. It was about puppies that were about to be stolen. A big hound went to the house and barked really loud to awaken the kids to warn them. I explained somewhat as we watched. I said, ‘The big dog is saying, “Wake up, they are trying to steal your puppies.”’ One of the grandkids jumped up and said, ‘Nana, I didn’t know you spoke dog.’” - Janice L.

“Once, I told my son to throw the dog’s water out. He took it outside and threw it into the backyard, ceramic bowl and all! Of course, it broke to bits. Couldn't get upset, though. He just did what I told him.” - Becky R.

“When my oldest son was around 5, we were talking about dinosaurs. I told him that dinosaurs are extinct. His response: ‘They stink? Gross!’” - Cassie K.

Funny Things Kids Say About Work

“My 5-year-old son called my briefcase from work my ‘griefcase.’ Better name for it.” - James P.

“A 3-year-old told me that she was my boss.” - Harrison P.

“I had been on vacation from my job as a legal secretary. I was getting ready for work on Monday morning when my son, who was about 5 years old, said, ‘I want you to stay at home.’ I told him that if I didn't go [to work], the lawyers would fire me. He said, ‘I won't let the lawyers burn you up.’” - Barbara C. 

Other Words of Wisdom from Kids

“My brother called the wise men the ‘three wise guys.’” - Charles B.

“Me: ‘You've got your socks on the wrong feet.’ My son: ‘Then whose feet are they?’” - Roxane M.

“When my youngest was 8 and he became upset at his brother, he would say, ‘I’m getting my blood pressure!’” - Awayanka W.

“My nephew once told me to ‘put on my seatbelt because the road ahead is crookaded.’ It really made me laugh.” - Kevin A.

In every issue of High Five magazine, we have a few special pages for parents called “Spilt Milk.” We invite you to share your parenting inspiration and challenges with us each month, because something as hard as raising kids to be their best selves is a little easier when we do it together! 

To join the conversation, visit us on Facebook or Instagram. What’s the funniest thing you’ve heard a child say? Let us know in the comments!